At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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