i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Did I show you my penis last night?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
