I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
