her vagina looked like bernie madoff
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
