Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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