is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I will be naked everywhere
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
