Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
