Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
