I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
The air taste purple.
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