you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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