Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
