I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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