Capitaan dildo arrescate!
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
