Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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