worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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