idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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