i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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