I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
