You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
