please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
