I can text with my tongue
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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