Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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