He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I could fuck to npr.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
