Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
