I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
