I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
