Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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