i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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