Only a mothe r could love this liver
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
