Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
