so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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