his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
PS: I just woke up from my shower
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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