I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Randomize
