we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
