Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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