i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
