I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
