do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
