nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
