Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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