I got chris browned last night
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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