Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm both gender and math confused
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
