I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
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At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize