I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
