chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
