You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I love you. Go after that dick
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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