One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
