whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
