Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
