she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
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she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
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I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
The Olympian is in my bed
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