It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize