do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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