Ambien. No doubt about it.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
