We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
It's blow job season.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
