i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
