I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
