Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize