shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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