brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
