My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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