You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
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She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
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She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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