its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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