3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
