You're so nebulous sometimes
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
