i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
