It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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