Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
