I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
