I heard we made out
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
